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One afternoon, too, I was feeling particularly guilty about the state of our marriage and loaded (almost) all of my clothes into three or four big Hefty bags and was hauling them down to the car to bring to Goodwill. Kathy walked into the garage just as I was getting ready to put the last bag in the trunk. She asked what I was doing and I told her. "I wish you wouldn't," she said and went into the kitchen. I left those clothes in the car's trunk for almost two weeks before hauling them back upstairs and putting them away. Again. Several months went by like this. Spring faded into summer, summer into fall. The coolness between Kathy and I gradually dissipated but I can't say it was replaced by anything warm. I wanted desperately to move the clock back a year, for Martha to never have left the closet but we both knew that wouldn't happen and I didn't know what to do about it. Kathy seemed to have built a cast-iron box around that part of our marriage and while she was. Remember, I told you that earlier, that one of the things that I thought I’d find exciting was doing it for you somewhere like that.’ I nodded, and our conversation the previous week-end came back to me. Helen had said – ‘But I don’t think I’ve ever had so many, specifically sexual thoughts as I’ve had during the short time I’ve known you. And I just love the feel of you, especially your cock. I don’t mean just when you are inside me, I love holding it, feeling it’s strength, it’s hardness in my hand or in my mouth. When you’re with me I just want to touch you, arouse you, make you climax.’ And I had replied – ‘It’s exciting for me, knowing that you enjoy touching me, arousing me, and rather like what you were saying, about making love in unusual places, it would be very exciting for me if you were to do it, I mean get me off, in places like that.’ And I recalled that I had seen that she had thought about what I’d said and that she had then said – ‘That would be exciting for me too.
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