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I’m not scared.”“You’re lying,” she said softly, “but that’s okay. It’s normal to be scared. I’m scared.”“Why? You don’t act scared...” Logan replied.“I can’t help being scared. No one can. But I can control whether I show it. Fear is contagious, Logan. We all feel it, but if we start to show it, it makes us all weaker.” Panthea took back the cup and swallowed the remainder. “I’ll get more.”She rose and went into the kitchen, leaving Logan to ponder her words.When she returned, she handed him the cup and sat back down. “Scared just means you realize the gravity of things, you know that what you do, how you react ... that matters. It means something important is on the line. Your life. Your family. Your friends. Maybe something less tangible, like an ideology or a dream. All the same, being scared reminds you to not take things for granted. When you feel scared, push it back and try to focus. Remember that your actions matter, that the decisions you make could change everything. Be. Before leaving, Thomasz told me he wanted to give me something. Itwas a large wooden box, looking quite old and fully decorated. When Iopened it I found out it was a jewelery box, with a small separatedsection containing make up stuff and a small mirror. He explained to methat the box belonged to Illana's family for generations and that thepieces were mixed, some were cheap accessories, but there were also realjewels inside. I didn't want to accept that, but he said Thomasz wouldn'thave utility for that anymore and that, after all, the box belonged toIllana and I was Illana now.Later I recognized that this gesture had a profound symbolism. He wasunconsciously giving away his femininity, as well as his identity, to me.As to stress this he opened the box, chose some fancy earrings and placedin my earlobes. I am quite sure I blushed. I also felt a shiver and mynipples got erected, what he, thanks God, didn't notice since I waswearing a bra that day.He then took a small pencil and.
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