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“Hmmm! “ murmured Tom, “now, us old guys, when we want a bit of sexual relief go out to the copse of trees on top of the hill behind the village. In the middle there’s an old oak tree with a knot hole at just the right height, go up there where no one can see you and practice.”So, on his wedding night they went to the only place in the village, the local pub.Tom watched them climb the stairs thinking ‘I hope what I told him is O.K.’Five minutes later there comes a piercing scream from upstairs, ‘huh huh’ thought Tom ‘ his in and should be alright now’ a few seconds later there’s another scream, even louder. ‘Making heavy weather of getting through’ then an even louder scream.‘What the heel’ thought Tom. He dashed up the stairs, threw the door open, only to see the girl laying not the bed and the new husband ramming a long wooden pole in and out of her fanny.“What the hell are you doing that for,” yelled Tom.The young man replied “I’m making sure there’s no bees in this hole.”Do you. Each week no matter how much my sisters and i tried to behave,we would always get something wrong and be punished for it.upon cleaning after dinner on saturday night,my sisters and myself would nerviously go to our rooms remove all our clothing and put on our dressing gowns,then go and stand in the hallway outside the dinning room door while our parents made the preparations inside,when this was completed all three of us would be summoned into the dinning room where we had to stand to attention with our heads held high,while my father laid out his collection of canes and straps,picking up each one in turn and swishing it through the air,in front of us,following this in no particular order we would each be called one at a time to stand before the oak dining table where we recieve a dressing down,then be told to assume the position which required the one whose turn it was to bend over the table,then our mother would step foreward and secure us to the table with specially made belts,once.
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