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”In the services in another church, the pastor asked, “Is there anyone here who doesn’t have an enemy in the entire world?” One old man in the back raised a trembling hand. “That is marvelous. Can you tell us your secret.” “I outlived the dastards.”After World War II, most Britons considered Winston Spencer Churchill a grand old man. In the period between the wars, however, he was not so old, and his contemporaries did not consider him grand at all. Once, George Bernard Shaw sent him a telegram: “I’ve left 2 tickets to opening night of my new play in your name at the box office. Come and bring a friend if you have one.”Churchill replied: “Busy that night. Please leave 2 tickets for your second performance if you have one.”A woman heckler at one of his speeches called out: “You’re horrible. If I were married to you, I’d put strychnine in your morning coffee.” “If you were married to me, madam, I would drink it.”As one party was winding down, Churchill came up to a Lady and said:. ?My cunt dropped her chain.? I still groaned from the current. ?Turn it off! Turn it off!’ ?Turn it up?? He did. I squealed harder. ?Noooo!? I squirmed. He turned it off. He put the chain back into my mouth. ?Don’t drop it,? he warned. I whimpered unexpectedly. He turned the current on again very low to start. It wasn’t uncomfortable yet. SMACK! ?Oh!? I dropped the chain with the unexpected paddle. SMACK! ?Ow!? He stuck the chain in my mouth and turned the current up high. I dug my teeth into the chain as my legs shuddered. I groaned loudly. ?Don’t drop the chain,? he growled. SMACK! ?Ow!? I held tight to the chain. SMACK! ?Uh!? Tears formed. This hurt. SMACK! ?No,? I started to cry. SMACK! I groaned as I cried. SMACK! Oh God how many more? SMACK! And the current.
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