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It meant that emotionally as a teenager she could seldom bring herself to be stroppy with her parents, or shout at them as most teenagers do. Instead she would visit her friends more and be at home less, though she longed to go back once she was away from home. She missed her father, the very man who would lecture then punish her so embarrassingly if she went back. It’s a strange paradox.“So can you tell me, Caleb, if you ever noticed her using this behaviour?”“Well, Catherine,” I said after a pause for thought, “Now you mention it, if we got into a row she normally avoided confrontation with me by going off visiting friends, and then coming home later to talk more calmly about whatever the dispute was. But I don’t see–”“Patience Caleb,” she said, holding up one hand, “I’m getting to it.”She smiled and continued. “Are you familiar with regression?”“You mean when people revert to previous strategies in stressful situations?”“Exactly. You know, you’re really good! Now, the greater the. It’s later, if the storm is still storming, it’s neglected to notify me, and I’m in no hurry to ask. We’re sitting on her floor in front of a snappy fire, sipping wine and trading life histories and listening to our clothes tumble dry. ‘How so?’ ‘You always wait. Wait for someone to start the conversation. Wait for some sign to tell you how to move. Wait for direction to get out of wet clothes. Wait for an invitation…’ ‘Is that such a bad thing, really? Would you prefer I presume?’ ‘That’s just it. ‘Would I prefer…” She shifts round to lounge before me, head in palm, weight on one side and one elbow, ‘What, for once in your life, would you prefer?’ The lingering smoke makes this a far more profound question than it could’ve been. My preferences at the moment encompass world peace and a bit off affection, with no preference which I get. Also present, though: the niggling fear that always accompanies criticism, it draws my brows together and I study the dregs in my glass to avoid her.
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