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Without any family, and all those kids grown and with their own families now, I felt a change was needed. The move was 3 hours away and the neighborhood was really a senior living community, but that was fine with me. Right then the last thing I really wanted.It wasn't until I'd been there for about 2 months that I really noticed the 'difference' of those living around me. Most, if not all, the homes had either male/male or female/female residents. I hadn't realized that the community I'd moved into was one of gay and lesbian couples. And here I was living all by myself. Now I felt embarrassed, but I didn't move. I'd already made quite a few friends here and had been readily accepted among them, even if I was single. No one said a thing to me about it and I never mentioned that I hadn't realized what I was getting into, either.My best friend there was Martin.Martin was 4 years older than me and was black as well. He was a stout man, weighing in at around 250 pounds with a thick beard. ) typically look at young African men like Ahmed with trepidation, and I think their feelings are justified, but not because I agree with their racist motivations for it, but because our long history of mistreatment and exploitation of Africa, and it's peoples, is so incredibly shameful. So, this particular form of trepidation arises (I think) out of an acknowledged, or unacknowledged, guilt for that! In fact, this is the single biggest motivator for both Alicia, and myself, for inviting Ahmed to get her pregnant---for, in doing so, our society, or world in general, will see that there are ways out of the poison and vitriol and secret fear that lies beneath all white supremacist (racist) rhetoric! To admit, openly, that whites have SO MUCH to atone for in regards to not just economic exploitation, but the guiding racist narrative that under girds so much of the way Africa has been treated is frightening for many, but I know that once I acknowledged this (and giving Alicia to Ahmed was.
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