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Once I saw his eyes open though, he suddenly backed his pelvis away.“Sorry.”“No,” I defended him. “I want you to have sex with me.”“What?” His voice was almost offensive to me as if I was a bad person for wanting it.“Please. For punishment. I want you to use my body nonstop. I swear I won’t like it but I know I deserve it. That’s all I’m good for now. Just use me. It will at least kill some time.” My voice droned further and further down into depression.“No,” he said softly as if he understood my pain.“Ean,” my voice shook almost crying, “do it. Over and over a hundred times until finally everything in my head just stops. I can’t stand doing nothing anymore. If your body still can get happy, then please, use mine to make it. I’m only going to ever get better if I feel that I’m making some progress and right now I feel absolutely nothing.”I rolled away from him onto my back and pulled apart the towel covering me. Spreading my legs a little, I laid there unable to move anymore muscles.. I was not anything better than a C student.It was all bullshit and I knew it. I had hacked their computer systems back when I was ten to find out where the asshole lived that beat me up a few times a week. That in itself is a whole other story.As always happens, the benefit of them getting fame for me acing the SAT at 13 was less important to them than the financial cost to the school system of losing one student off their education rolls. I wonder how much of that pot of money they spent making sure my records were hidden.Ariel and I were the last stop on the bus route. As with any new kid to the area she floated around to sit with different kids on the bus trying to make friends. It took a few weeks for them to find out she was just as smart as me and not into their little petty teasing and middle school putdown bullshit. At some point she sat next to me and found I did not give her any crap like the others. From then on she sat beside me on the bus, but never said more than a few.
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