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I had to cool it with Brad, at least in my home. We could meet at his place, or go to a motel. I could do that. Actually, I could even do without Brad until after the divorce. He was the one that enjoyed the sex, more so than I did. As I said, things would have been so much simpler if Brad had lived. But just three days before my divorce was final, Brad was killed in a traffic accident. The cops told me it was a two vehicle crash, meaning Brad was in his car and there was one other car involved but that driver was never found. The cops say he was probably struck by the other car or truck, lost control, skidded off the road and into a tree. He was killed instantly, or so they said. I wondered later why he had been on that road at that time. He was supposed to be with me, to help me in my time of sorrow over my upcoming divorce. He promised me he would be there, so why was he somewhere else? I was very sad when they notified me of his death. Sad, but strangely, that was all. I wasn’t. So working with the public can turn very bad, very fast. My anxiety shows its form when I get overwhelmed, then snap at people. My depression shows itself after when I feel bad for snapping and I apologize. Anyone who knows these demons knows that they can show themselves as complete opposites so you end up fighting yourself even more.After I was done eating my meal for the night, I decided to go play a game. I like to play online because I have a microphone to talk to people who can't get to sleep just like me, who also usually understand the demons I have. You meet a lot of kinds of people on the internet. It's just like interacting out in the real world for me except you may never meet these people. Some people you get along with but others you don't so much. I had found these two guys who also had a microphone. We were all having fun. I can be a sexual being sometimes and at night it can get worse. I think it's just another coping mechanism my brain had come up with. If I thought.
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