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But there was another side to all this. I love the boy -- I always have! He's handsome -- beautiful, really -- and well-mannered and pleasant and young ... Haven't you ever looked at a young person in the full flower of their youth and beauty and found lust in your heart? Even though he was forbidden to me, as he grew into manhood I could not deny the fact that he held a powerful attraction. The FIRST thing that came to mind when I would look at him, working and sweating, shirtless, his muscles sliding under his youthful, smooth skin, was the fact that I was three times his age and thus had nothing to offer -- and NOT that sleeping with him would be incest! 'Grandma is a lecherous old woman' was not a thought process I really wanted to foster...Since my divorce from Hector, men haven't been impressive. Men my age are set in their ways -- bad ones, mostly. The places that you meet them are ALREADY a method of guaranteeing that you're looking at the subset of males who will be bad mates. I couldn't move my eyes from her. And of course, as awkward as I was, we had a awkward ending of the day."I want to see you tonight, but I think you are tired and both of us need to work tomorrow and ...." I found her messaged me a few days later. I didn't go that night. But we still maintained contact and she asked me to clubbing on Friday night. Yes, of course. That was the best night of my clubbing career! We had a few drinks and danced. There were even some girls flirting with me, but I stayed with her even though she said it's fine to have fun with others.Eventually we left and I offered to walk her home. Just to be as polite as possible. It was cold and I offered my jacket to her and cuddles during the walk.Fast forward, she invited me in her place. We hugged, kissed and went in her room.We cuddled in bed but neither of us could fall asleep. I buried my face in her hair as I was in my favorite big spoon position. She smelled so good and I started to kiss on her neck all the way.
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