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You scroll through our previous conversations, glad that you can keep track of our chats now that no one checks your phone. You curl up and dream of the day that I can be there next to you. My tiny hands on your chest and you wrapped around me, protecting me from all the evils of the world. You grab your body pillow and pretend its me.You don’t know half of the atrocities I have been through. But can imagine there are a lot and they are painful because I refuse to talk about them. Your sweet tender happiness turns to melancholy as you tear yourself down, wondering why you are my number two, not my number one. After sadness comes anger, jealousy. Why do I ignore you at night? If I loved you enough, I would find time to text, somehow. You think of me loving him. Imagining him leaving kisses all over me, and me being completely happy with him. The jealous tears come out of you like rain.I cry myself to sleep. I got no response from you. I cry and then get up and go smoke. Staring at my. “Wesley, people are going to see us out here on the steps,” Rebecca chided softly.“I know.”“What is it?”“I’m...” Wesley faltered. It was harder to say than he expected. But the truth was there, nonetheless. “I’m afraid.”Wednesday, 1 June 1955, Indianapolis, IndianaWesley stared at the ceiling in the early morning light. He tried to pray, but thoughts of the events of the preceding day filled his mind. He was so stupid, gullible. What a coward! Downstairs, chairs were propped against doors, wooden sticks were jammed into window frames. He should be trusting in God to keep him safe. Instead, he was cowering in his bed alone and wanted nothing more than to hide beneath the covers.Wesley had never experienced physical violence. Yes, he knew classmates when he was in school who had been in fights. But none had touched him personally. He was too young to be involved in World War II and was a deferred student in the Korean War. The very idea that someone would attack his fiancée in his home.
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