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I felt so safe there, so cared for – especially when the heavy, sweaty, rough playing was over and you would hold my bound hands and ie next to me. It still amazes me that I can fall asleep with my legs tied spread and my wrists tied tightly together. I would have thought that some part of my subconscience would rebel against such constraints. Such times teach me a great deal about myself and my needs. And now, there is a period of isolation I must endure before I can again afford to give myself up to fantasy, there are the sleepless nights and the lonely days, and there are the moments when I wonder how I manage to give up the intimacies associated with such activities, and why I force myself to endure such a loss.When you picked me up at the airport upon my arrival, I was anxious to begin. It is important that the initial feelings of apprehension be dealt with quickly and that thrust be established. The flight had been long. Had I planned better, I would have flown with a crotch. Ashley told Lisa I had now reached halfway point ofthe drug they had been using on me since Saturday, she was amazed at howquickly it worked and my total acceptance to what was transpiring. Karlahad also told her that BreeAnn was to continue to wear the heels as theshape of my legs was to be determined by this; also the corset would notbe necessary soon as my waist was thinning down and my hips wereslightly larger appearing. Ashley had bought me a training bra to wearas I was close to an "A" size in terms of breast size, my final sizeagain would be determined to my bodies overall dimensions, she told Lisathough that I would end up being a "C" as I was slender from the start.They also spoke of my quick learning from Ashley's old styling manuals,it would seem I was able to retain far more then they had anticipated,but this was good as they would not have to keep showing me how to doeverything, once was all that was required it was seeming. Tomorrowwould be the day I would have to think.
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