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After a moment or two, I lifted my head and shook the water from my face. "Damn it, Anna!" I told myself, "You are forty-four years old and you are behaving like a love struck teenager! Snap out of it!!" Pushing myself up I turned off the shower and grabbed the towel, dried myself and wrapped my hair in another towel from the rack and returned to the room where I saw myself again in the mirror. I looked old, no make up and a face just oozing sadness and anger. I quickly looked away. Sitting at the dresser I again emptied my make up onto its surface. Now, though there was no care. I applied the make up quickly, I had no-one to impress this time. I brushed my hair and left it to dry naturally then began to dress, starting with a matching bra and pants of pale yellow cotton. Next I put on a crisp white blouse which I buttoned up the front leaving the top three unfastened then sat on the edge of the bed, no tights or stockings today, just a pair of pale yellow ankle socks. I sat for a. The place was ritzier that I had imagined but that was because it had been a long time since I had been in this part of Manhattan and I probably remembered it from the old days when it was a lot seedier than present day. The building even had a pretentious awning that stretched from the front doors all the way out to the curb. I could see how the residents loved that little perk avoiding carrying an umbrella to their dinner dates downtown. The doorman was a big burly guy bordering on obese but with that still hard firmness that signaled he was not a chump by a long shot. I did my best not to make direct eye contact with him because I feared he might think I was challenging him and the last thing I wanted today was fisticuffs in the middle of the daylight hours. Not to suggest that I couldn’t handle it because I was an undefeated middleweight in the local boxing circles but had to call it a day after catching those two slugs in my legs busting through the wrong door at the wrong time.
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