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Dear Zach,I'm so very sorry all this happened. I know it seems like I keep saying that again and again but it's true. This isn't what I planned or even considered happening when I came back to Brownwood. Things just seemed to go to shit quickly didn't they?You told me that I didn't have any idea how badly I'd hurt you and you were right. I know that now. The Zach I knew could never have done what you did to me. What breaks my heart is that I know I'm the one who helped make you that way.Zach, you hurt me in a way I didn't think was possible anymore. I know I'll be able to someday forgive you but like they say, forgetting may never happen. I hope in time I'll be able to forgive myself for all those foolish things I've done that helped ruin a man I once loved.I really do wish the best for you. I hope one day that you heal that hole in your heart. You've so much to give and I pray you find it again someday.Before I close, I need to say one more thing. I know this request won't mean. ‘Whatever brought you here,’ she said, ‘we’re glad to have you.’ There was the trap. I liked these people, liked them in a way that I really shouldn’t. Coming here today, the last thing I had expected was to make friends, but I found in these people a welcome acceptance I hadn’t realized I yearned for. A few platitudes aside, my old friends had abandoned me soon after my change. Some had scorned me, and others had avoided me as if slavery was suddenly contagious. A few acted like they wanted to stay friends, but they were too afraid of what the others would think. One by one, they all went away. Except Adam, but I had done everything in my power to push him away. There was a gaping hole in my life, and these people could fill that for me. Part of me wanted what was offered, hungry for that lost sense of belonging. Humans are social creatures, and I am no exception. It would feel good to have friends again, a group that would welcome me and accept me, even in the face of everything.
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