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No other woman made me feel more confident than Laudus.I walked into Laudus’s office without knocking, Aberdeen followed me and closed the door. With Aberdeen’s presence we were pressed for space. Laudus stood up from behind her cluttered wooden desk and Usha followed her example, accidentally kicking back her chair into Aberdeen’s knee.“Ouch!”Usha turned around and looked distressed. “Sorry!”Aberdeen waved her off but looked annoyed. She backed against the door, rubbing her knee over and over. Usha looked rough, with hunched shoulders and red rimmed eyes. A burden weighed her down.“I was hoping you’d stop by, Von,” Laudus said stepping forward and giving me a hug. “We’re just finishing up. Usha has been forthcoming with information.”I took the only open chair, which was next to Usha’s and sat down. “Hit the highlights for me.” Both of them sat back down. For a minute Laudus watched Aberdeen, so I suspected Aberdeen was still rubbing her knee with her butt against the door. There. Even when wearing male outer clothes, I wore my foundationwear almost constantly (even if it did mean I suddenly took charge ofdoing all the washing in our house), and when dad wasn't around, I wouldspend every possible second dressed as Jacinta, and I always cried whenthe time came to strip away my make-up and my clothes and pretend to beJason again... And every time I told Ophelia how I was feeling, shewould always respond the same way.'Tell your father how you feel'. That was the advice, and seeminglyOphelia's answer for literally everything. She pointed to her owntransformation as evidence that I should take the plunge... Except inher case, it was a change that could be reversed. She had the option ofabandoning 'Ophelia' and writing everything off as a 'phase'. If I toldmy father that I wanted to be a woman, there wouldn't be any easy way-or any way whatsoever- to 'untell' him."If you are to tell your father," Ophelia said, "You must do it soon, ifit is your wish to be a girl....
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