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It turned me into a paranoid son of a bitch. Even though I loved my current wife, I was never able to completely trust her. I wanted to but, I noticed that she tended to tell little lies when the absolute truth was inconvenient. Both of us had been married before and I hoped we would grow old together. I had been stupid and trusting before and it damn near killed me. I hoped that one day, I would be able to sleep with both eyes closed.The more I loved Shay, the more paranoid I became. I knew that the greater the love, the more painful the hurt. She was putting me under pressure to start a family. I kept thinking that if the relationship went to hell, I'd be facing at least eighteen years of child support. Nevertheless, I was just about ready to start a family and bury my past. It bothered me that the ghosts of yesterday had such negative impact on our marriage. It was time that I let it go and get on with my life. I wanted to believe that Shay deserved my trust. She didn't know that. Driving back down the M4 towards home Tony was quiet as a church mouse and wringing his hands together as he sat in the passenger seat of my ford focus, just staring ahead." You ok mate " I asked as I indicated left to come off at the junction, " you haven't said a word since we left the hospital, missing Sally already " " I'm fine " he muttered, " just trying to think something out " Partly, but I need to say something and I'm not sure how to put it " " There's a first " I smiled " never known you lost for words before " The road ahead was clear and I quickly built up to the speed limit, Mavis was at home getting dinner ready and having a shower, I had a good idea what Tony was so desperately agonising over telling me, inside I was smiling and the image of my wife flashing Tony shot into focus. I patted him on the leg and reassured him Sally would be alright, she was in experienced hands and commented about the sexy nurses she had attending her." Yeah I guess your right, still.
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