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.. Right."He's disappointed, it's clear from his face. After taking my stuff from office, we're ready to leave now. So I guess we have to part here. My car is parked over there and he gotta go another way. But I really don't want him to go. "Umm... Clare. Take care of yourself. And... I'll see you tomorrow."And there he goes, turning his back towards me. Why am I feeling this heaviness inside of me all of a sudden? Why my chest feels so tight? It's like I can't breathe. My head is heavy. He's like the air that I breathe. And now he's going away... taking the air from my lungs with him. Please... don't go..."Siiiiiiid..."And the next moment, I'm again in his arms. "Oh gosh! Clare, you were about to collapse! What happened? And you're burning hot. Are you okay?"Stop complaining. It's all your doing. You're pushing my limits, even when you're gentle to me. "Could you please... drive me to my place. I'm not feeling better." Sure. But do you need anything right now." No, I'm just a little. The room is bright, but grey and indistinct, because it’s not really important.You are there. I see you are… smaller than you are. And grayer. And cold, sad. I beckon you to me and you climb onto my lap. My arms encircle you as you curl up. I feel larger than I am. Stronger. I hold you, stroking you hair and back through your sweatshirt. You are shivering. You may be crying. There is wetness seeping though my shirt. I hold you and rock a little bit until the shaking stops. I will my warmth into you, breathing slowly, holding and stroking. In time – how much doesn’t really matter – you sigh. I feel an ember of warmth reflected back to me and see a hint of color where your arms and legs peek from your clothing.You pull back from me a bit, pushing yourself up on my chest to look at me eye to eye. I see sorrow, pain, life, beauty, so many things. I know I can’t give everything you need. Perhaps nothing of lasting value, but it doesn’t matter. The light around us is just a little warmer.
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