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Rebecca and I were somewhat surprised that the reportermanaged to write the entire article without once mentioning 'trans' or'lesbian' once. The times may be changing.The most important pending event in our lives was New Years Eve, theanniversary of our first date. I had been planning something specialsince early September. It involved lying to Rebecca. I rationalized itbecause the lie I told could be interpreted in two ways. I told her thatI was unhappy with my voice and that I thought voice lessons would be areal help. Rebecca tried to reassure me that absolutely no one wouldever listen to me and not hear a female speaking. Maybe a year ago,before I found the right timbre, intonation, and word choices, butcertainly not now. Nonetheless I insisted that I needed the lessonsbecause I was making so many more presentations now.Hardest thing for three months was leaving without Rebecca wanting to gowith me, drop me off, and worst, asking what I learned. So what was Ireally doing? I was. ”A young man was rapidly approaching his wedding day, but he didn’t have a clue how to perform. Oh he knew what to do, as his mates had told him, “Stick it in, in and out, pull it out and wipe it.” This didn’t seem right, he wanted to satisfy his new bride on the wedding night, so he went to see the old man of the town for some advice.“Well,” said the old man, “I can give you the best advice that I was given as a young’un.”“Get a piece of string, a Hapenny and some sticky tape. Stick it to the left side of your body with the coin level with your hip bone. Then every night for half an hour stand and hit the coin with your hipbone flicking your hip sideways. Come back next week and I tell you what to do next.”So off the young lad went and every night he practiced,’Hapenny, Hapenny, Hapenny’ in his mind. The next week he went to the old man again, “This time stick a Penny down to your right hip, then it’s Hapenny, Penny, Hapenny, Penny. And see me again next week.”And again the young man.
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