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I did not want children when I was younger. I thought that I would do something good for humanity to not procreate and add to the depletion of the Earth. I felt that I was morally superior to all those women who wanted, and had, their two point six children. The fact that I, honestly, did not look my age facilitated me in this delusion. The fact that I have had no illnesses beyond the occasional cold led me to believe that I had time and good genes on my side. Well, guess what, I was wrong about all of those things. I decided one day, about two years ago, to eschew the Nazarite vow that I made as a child (fodder for another essay I suppose) and have a child myself. I have written about broken vows in this forum already so I won’t linger on this, but suffice to say that things have not gone as planned. My IVF failed. In truth, I FAILED. I was the one who had no eggs in my two follicles — six short of what the doctor wanted, but at least two gave me the chance of twins. It was a nasty. Whenever my parents spoke of my grandfather they referred to him in that manner, and I could indeed hear the quote marks around the words as they spoke them.Great-Grandfather McKesson was 'Bull' McKesson, and he, as was his father, were local legends and forces of nature in the region that included coastal North Carolina, having achieved the status of 'Captains of Industry' to hear Grandfather McKesson speak of it. And yes, once again there were unspoken but well understood quotes associated with that phrase as well.The matter-antimatter nature of their relationship, Dad's and Grandfather McKesson's, reached its pinnacle when Dad announced after receiving his Master's Degree from UNC in Civil Engineering, that he intended to pursue his Doctorate in far off and presumably liberal and radical California. Never mind that the scholarship was to Cal Tech, nor that it would be in the "safe and conservative" community of Pasadena, California. It was far away from the comforts of the family.
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