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I found it helped me sleep, but upon further discrimination and many scientific trials I decided it helped me do something like sleep. I pushed it aside. I even poured out one of the half-full bottles in my drawer. Not the other one, though. Just one. Two weeks before, I left the Corps. Unwillingly, grudgingly, silently, at my own request, but I left. I resigned. Not in disgrace, but ‘don’t show your face around here again, Buddy’ was the implication. For about a fortnight, I toasted my discharge in a motel in Jacksonville, NC. I stayed at a terrible place, drinking more of that scotch, wishing I had a friend, finding one in the bottle. I was not suicidal. I did what we all should do when we have no one to go to. And there was no one. The major warned me. ‘You are a candidate for all sorts of neurotic behaviors, Lieutenant. Depression, anxiety, alcoholism, fantasies… Don’t give in to them. You did what you could. You did right. The system failed you. Hell, the system eats up moral. In two weeks he was almost certainly going to be losing them, and that dramatically changes the way you look at your loved ones. 6B had been looking at them unusually too, as he'd just abandoned his girls to a lifetime without him. These weren't his girls, but they almost were, but only for a couple more weeks. So, regardless of whether 6A or 6B were influencing our face the most, it certainly had a strange look on it."Love does that to me. I love the three of you very much, and I'm amazed at how lucky I am to have each you in my life."Expressing love isn't uncommon in our families, and there'd been quite a lot of it as the pressure of the Surveillance Problem came off, so the girls weren't suspicious. They got up, gave me some nice hugs and returned the sentiment, then returned to their work.#22: #13: #50: I put on an even happier face and tried to pretend everything was fine. My crying had the girls worried. I almost never cry. I swore a lot during the Surveillance Problem for.
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