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"I don't want tothink about myself as transgendered. I mean, it's okay to cross dress.I'm not hurting anyone. But, if I was transgendered, that's socomplicated. I mean, maybe for someone else, but not me. I like thisbut, well, is that bad to want this? Is it bad to hide my male side andlive for my time with you and this?" He pointed with a wave of the handat his shaved legs, stockings, and skirt. He unconsciously crossed hislegs at his ankles.Frankie was upset. He never liked confrontation and had hidden this needfrom others all his life. He was another person when he dressed and whenhe wasn't dressed, he was his male self. He never chose to deal with hisneeds except as an end run. He thought that it was okay to be twopeople.Helen came over and kissed her wife. She put her hand on his shoulderand did her best to comfort him. "It's okay to have some self-doubt, butdon't criticize yourself because you are what you are. I love you, Ineed you, and I want to see you happy."Frankie felt. He watched him as he casually turned and took the steps up and out of the pool. He stood and followed, grateful that his fledgling erection had gone back down.Later that night, as he lay beside his sleeping wife, he went over the strange conversation again and again not knowing what to make of it. But when once again his cock started getting hard he got out of bed and went into the bathroom and masturbated. Returning to the bed he soon drifted off to sleep.Meshulam also had trouble getting to sleep. He marveled that the ideas he’d expressed to Amir had been amorphous thoughts which had congealed into concrete form as he’d spoken them. Now he knew them to be the truth.Four nights after that conversation the weather turned hot and humid. Meshulam awoke feeling damp. He got up and took a cool shower. After drying off he put on a short silk robe he seldom used. He went downstairs to the room he used as his private den, switched on a lamp that cast a soft light across the room and poured.
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