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A year ago, some bored crackpot started a rumor that went viral with all the soccer moms: semen from the clinic was poisoning the town’s water supply. An ordinance had passed classifying all sperm (frozen or otherwise) collected by a business as a hazardous substance that could not be disposed of through city drain or directly to the ground. So, you either paid a private company thousands of dollars to come collect unwanted samples, risked a fine in the hundreds of thousands of dollars, or you circumvented this idiotic law by hiring a Maya and paying her minimum wage.The professional cum swallower’s first few days consisted of a morning of pulling out samples listed in an auto-generated list, then an afternoon of drinking them once they thawed. Things changed last month when a local stallion and local dog respectively won the Pennsylvania Derby and Westminster Best in Show in the same week. Sperm value from the blessed town skyrocketed and interested buyers doubled. This sent. On the margin of the ad she wrote "Pd -- use BBB ad following", and put it in her outbasket.The next envelope was marked "Legal Advertising," and came from the Fish and Wildlife Service in Minneapolis. This also was nothing new; they got a legal from the Fish and Wildlife Service about four times a year. She opened the copy and read the cover sheet: "Ad must be at least 4 inches wide, type not less than 12 point." Bunch of ripoff artists," she snorted. The ad would have to be charged by word count, since it was a legal, but putting it in a box with that type size would mean that they'd get less than the normal space rate. Before she even looked at the ad, she wrote in the margin of the cover sheet, "2 col, 12 pt. Squeeze." That would help a little. That done, she glanced at the ad itself, and involuntarily cringed when she saw the headline:PUBLIC NOTICE Gibson's Water SnakeShe really didn't want to read any farther, but sort of wondered why the Fish and Wildlife Service was sending.
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