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The vicar wasn’t so sure this sounded like a good idea. He also wasn’t sure that he hadn’t just suffered some kind of stroke. The Krampus, though, is nothing if not persuasive. So with a bit more cajoling (and a bottle of very good French cognac from the pocket of his coat), the Krampus convinced the vicar to put on his boots and his scarf, and they went to the little steepled church together. There, the Krampus covered the crucifix with a sheet, and put up curtains over the stained glass windows, so that none of the old prophets and forefathers could play Peeping Tom today.The Krampus was old enough to remember a time when churches chained their Bibles to the pulpit, so he did that too—chained it shut, that is, and then shut the whole pulpit away. Then he sent the vicar away to enjoy a day off, while the Krampus set to ringing the bells, hanging on the ropes with all his might. (It’s a myth that devilish spirits hate church bells; bells have been around much longer than churches, and. . ," I said."Yes, my friend. When we finish shooting a film then there is 'fuck for all'. The director, the producer and all the crewmembers get to fuck the ladies. Before the orgy starts," Kris said, "She announces loudly, I quote, 'Main chudwauingi, laurda choosuingi aur beej satkungi lakin main apni gaand nahin marwauingi. Chahe naukri se nikaal do (I'll fuck, I'll suck cock and swallow cum but I won't let anyone fuck me in my ass hole. You can sack me if you like), ' unquote." And no producer or director wants to sack her as she is good at her job and no producer, director or a crew member has been able to persuade her to give her gaand." And you gave up?" I asked surprised.'Yes. Our producer, Mr. Rustomji, once got so frustrated that he announced a fifteen days fully paid trip for two to Switzerland to anyone who'll take her asshole cherry," Kris said, "this prize is still to be had." Good, I always wanted to visit Switzerland," I laughed, "Seriously, Kris, have you told Amita.
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