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This was our last year here, well, togetheranyways. Connor was going to college in the fall, and I'd be stuckwith mom, all by myself for the next two years. Connor was going tocollege in New York, I'd be lucky if I'd get to see him once every sixmonths. "I know, but it just seems like things will never ever be like thisagain, and that scares me," he admitted picking at his nails. "Hey, look at me," I said lifting his chin, "no matter how old weget, how many children we have, I will always beat your ass to thislake." Connor let out a low laugh, it seemed forced though, his smiledidn't quite meet his eyes. As his laugh died down Connor and I just stared at each other,"you're so beautiful," he whispered taking me completely by surprise.And, I felt him lower his face towards mine - my brain screamed no, topull away, but everyone of my insticts were so ready for this kiss.Our lips met and it felt weird, I hadn't kissed very many guys, butnone of it had ever felt like this. Connor put. Divorced years earlier, she didn't have anyone to help her with her grief. ... And so she had turned to me, Paul's best friend, to draw comfort immediately following the tragedy -- to recollect the broken pieces of her lost relationship with him. It began innocent enough with her and I looking through old pictures, or watching home movies centered around him, even going out to eat at restaurants they had frequented together. But her loneliness seemed to grow worse with every day. Soon, she was planning things to do, like going to the movies, cooking me dinner, watching television -- things unrelated to Paul. Our relationship began to feel different. She no longer treated me just as Paul's friend, but also as an equal.From the time I was twelve until now, I have been attracted to Paul's mom -- her beauty, her graceful way of doing ordinary things, her no-frills pragmatism, her womanly curves... I had masturbated to so many women during these years, but she played the "starring role".
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