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It also gave me a little dissatisfaction with myself that I could enjoy her suffering.But each time a strength and determination to recover from her self-made unhappiness also showed in her. It gave me a little satisfaction that I was happy to see her on the path to recovery. It also gave me a little dissatisfaction that I could have any empathy with her situation. Basically, the whole thing generated a lot of ambivalence.But that's how life is, isn't it? So little is clear and the consequence of actions taken or not taken are rarely what we expect. All you can do is the best you can.Karen was getting pretty close and was not as spry as she had been. Our sex life was completely devoid of acrobatics. But then, acrobatics are overrated, especially for those of us who are not acrobats.I answered the doorbell and Betty was there smiling broadly. I invited her in. The women exchanged greetings, though Karen didn't get up.Betty lifted a piece of paper and shook it at us."I begged, wheedled. . I think you must be right-brained- like, you let your emotions rule your life?" Right-brained?" I interrupted."You've never heard that? It's about which side of your brain you usemore - like for instance, left-brained people are analytical, logical,that kind of thing? And right-brained means you're more expressive,creative ... those are the good things, but the downside is you tend tobe more emotional, even irrational sometimes?" That does sound a lot like me," I agreed. "But I like my expressiveside, and my creative side? I think it helps a lot when I'm acting andsinging ..." Oh yes, you did tell me about that. See, that's what I mean when I saythings have their price? The price is how badly things can affect you -like how depressed you felt after you broke up with Mark." It's even worse than that," I mused. "It's probably what caused me tobreak up with him in the first place." And I'd thought it was all thehormones' fault! Erica was making huge sense with this line ofreasoning..
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