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" It took a moment for the news to sink in, and Janice asked, "You meanlike sex change surgery?" Yeah." Are you serious, Michael?" "I am. And seeing myself like this reinforces how I feel about it." That's a big step, Michael. Have you thought this over?" I have. Look at me, Janice, and tell me that I shouldn't have beenborn a girl."Janice couldn't. Michael was right. She then recalled his accounts ofthe harassment he'd endured and the pain he'd felt. Her eyes moistenedand she said, "I understand, Michael. I want you to know that I'll behere for you." Lyuba thanked her and then they hugged.Wearing a dress and makeup had severely embarrassed Michael. However,Lyuba's latest disclosure had transformed his embarrassment into amarked sense of foreboding. He tried to communicate with her throughhis thoughts. He desperately wanted to talk her out of it. 'Pleasedon't do this!' he implored, but she didn't respond. 'She doesn't havethe slightest clue that I'm in here,' he sullenly thought.. I guess I should have started my supplication a little earlier- when I went to check the result was even clearer than before, as if to mock me for my ridiculous hopes. I called him at work because he knew I would be testing that morning and told him the news. You’d think I would remember every tiny detail but it’s faded some… I’m not sure if he left work and came straight to my apartment or if he finished out the workday. I think my now-biased view of him makes me want to believe the latter, but perhaps I’ll give him the benefit of doubt here. He asked me what we were going to do. As if I knew! He asked again. I still had no answer. He asked once more. I told him I supposed I needed to look up the clinic’s info and call. He seemed relieved. I think he went home after that. He rarely stayed the night as it raised too many questions with the folks. I cried. I thought about taking another test since this one might be wrong. I realized that was stupid. I’d already looked up as much as I.
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