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You can imagine my joy and sense of satisfaction when I slammed it with the bat and watched it break into a gazillion pieces.My parents had sent me away to Sacramento State last fall, with a P.O.S. desktop computer that my dad found for me through an old friend. He got it real cheap and figured it would be ok for what I needed. It was so painfully slow and as I had said crashed constantly. Who can work on with a machine like that? I needed desperately a computer with WIFI but I just did not have the nerve to go to my parents and ask them to buy me another computer and I certainly couldn’t afford one. Too bad I couldn’t put it on my food card, but then again, I wouldn’t be eating either for the next three months. I had to figure out something or this piece of shit was going to put me in the loony bin!Being the resourceful person my parents taught me to be, a brilliant idea came to mind. Since I was studying Marketing, why not market myself! I knew the best place to do this would. The gossip in the shop is also required. 2. No man will ever wear pants or any other male attire once we dock planet side. The next ship will be here in five years to pick you up and pants will be waiting if you desire them then. 3. You will defer to women in all phases of dating, and socialization. She will order food for you, tell you where and when to sit, she will speak first, and she will always make the first move. 4. Skirts and dresses will never cover the knee. 5. You will no longer use male pronouns while on Amazonia. While this is not a problem when on duty calling each other by rank, it can have disastrous consequences outside the compound. Some suggested replacements for man, boy and dude are, girlfriend, sister, honey and girly. Several other popular pronouns are Sissy, Fairycakes, sweetie, and missy. It is important for all of you to practice in the barracks constantly. 6. If a woman makes unwanted advances, it is up to you to tell her so without ever.
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