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In case you are wondering, I'm actually a very good cook. Unfortunately I am also lazy. I much prefer to have someone else cook my meals and clean up the kitchen. When my wife is home I do the cooking and she cleans up the kitchen. She can't even boil water without burning it. Friends have tried to convince me that she is just trying to get over on me. Trust me. I've eaten her cooking and her mother's cooking. Neither one could cook.After breakfast we went to a big adult bookstore near the interstate. I figured it was too early for the locals. But I had noticed a lot of big rigs at this place at all hours of the day and night.I wasn't disappointed. When I pulled up in front of the place there were a dozen eighteen wheelers parked in the back lot.When I was in Germany they didn't have places like this. They had porn of course, and shops that sold it. But they didn't cater as much to the repressed sexual appetites of Americans. They didn't have shops like these with the booths in the. " Is there anything I can get for you?" Harriet asked."Yeah, a can of those Tender Vittles would be real nice. The ocean fish flavor. Not that crappy chicken garbage you got in there," he licked his lips."I'll be right back then," she stood up and walked to the door."And Harriet..." Jasper called as she reached for the knob."Yes?" she answered."A little bowl of milk with a shot of brandy if you wouldn't mind." Really? A shot of brandy?" What, I'm speakin' English ain't I? The Napoleon kind if you got it. Okay?"Harriet exited the bathroom, just as Sy was about to go in. She closed the door behind her and stood holding onto the knob behind her back, blocking his way."Harriet, what's the matter with you? Get out of the way. I got a bladder full of Krutchman's I gotta piss out." You can't. The uhh... toilet's not working," she feigned."That's ridiculous," scoffed Sy, "The toilet's fine. Now get outa' my way," He tried to push her aside, but she refused to move."Jasper's not feeling well.
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