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. He zipped up the bag and put it into the larger box with Tess's salad added a pack of ground coffee. Half of yesterday's news paper and a loaf of bread. Drew also squeezed three beach towels in and then closed the lid on the box, they were done. "Ready to go?" he asked her as he lifted the box. "You bet," she said. They closed the back door behind them, and crossed to the shed where Dave waited sitting on Drew's bike. Drew strapped the box onto the back of the machine he and Tess would be sharing and then went into the shed and returned with two helmets. He handed one to Tess, she realized that this one would have been Dianne's and she felt a pang of sadness and then got a sense that Drew was beginning to let the memory of his wife go. 'It must be a big decision for Drew,' Tess thought. Drew called the dog and had to encourage it to get up behind Dave as it wanted to try and ride with Tess. "If he falls off just stop and call him," Drew told Dave. With that they set off up the lane. Phew it’s ok, he is still the lovely sweet man who had been chatting to me on the phone trying to figure out my needs and wants. I make coffee and we talked for an hour, how I regretted that hour now. Next time I’ll have him spank as soon he steps in through the door, heck I’ll even open the door in the buff. Even now I can’t explain why I want to be punished, why I want to submit and have him standing over me. He tells me that sometimes what seems like surrender isn’t surrender at all. It’s about what’s going on in our hearts, about accepting it and being true to it, whatever the contradictions, because the pain of not being true is often the greater cost. Murmuring ‘whatever’, I wash the mugs summoning the last brave bone in my body, he senses my anxiety and steps up behind placing his hands upon my hips and I feel his lips kissing the nape of my neck, it feels electric. His hands glide about my tummy and I turn, letting him nuzzle my neck, my chin, cheeks, forehead, hair and then.
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