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One thing was sure, I was burned-out on marriage and in no mood to deal with people in general. I had plans to go out that morning and do things, but as I awoke, I wasn’t energized or rejuvenated. I was just fucking down and drained. I was depressed about how dismal things had gotten, mostly about the failure of my first attempt at marriage, though to be fair to me, I had tried to make it work in spite of my misgivings. I had given it every honest attempt, including the mutual decision (her idea, but I tolerated it) to become monogamous early on, in spite of my serious reservations about the wisdom of monogamy. It was Courtney who couldn’t live by her own principles of fidelity, wasn’t it, the fucking hypocritical bitch!That was the real cause of my despair, of course. I had foolishly chosen a very bad companion for me, one sure to make me miserable, not happy with my life, though I couldn’t see past her dimples and her goddamn dirty blonde hair! Fuck my luck, I thought, as I tried to. I was starting to feel like I had lost control of things. I knew it was a good idea, I just wish I had a chance to have some say in it all.I probably would have made a scene but it's hard to have an outburst when there are so many pretty little witnesses. I was a little pissy and they all knew it, but not why. How can you complain with all those lovely girls doing everything they can to help you?I also knewthat I had kind of turned things over to Beth. If I was going to do that, I had to learn to put up with my own decision to let her handle things as the results of that decision. Besides, it was Sherries house. She said who went where and who didn't.We got a look at the main house, but it was late so we pretty much headed off to bed. Beth slid in with me and we had fun. I consciously told my sperm to not be active, at least that's what I envisioned in my head. I figured a sperm that didn't move could not fertilize an egg. I liked Beth a lot and I needed her. Besides, it's nice to.
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