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I am okay. I am normal. But you, you’re not okay. You are broken. You rape -”She took a deep breath, “You raped me. But it’s okay. I’m not mad. God, five minutes ago I would have married you. But now I know better. I know better. I wanted to tell you it’s over. It’s over. You should move far far away. Okay?”He nodded, a bead of sweat trickling down his face.“Okay, good. Goodbye Phil.”Nerveless, she walked back to Conner and alien hands at her sides. “I am done. I wanna go home.”“Who was that guy?”She took in a deep breath and finally exhaled. Her face crinkled up like a paper in a fire and tears began streaming down her cheeks. She flung her arms around Conner and just sobbed.Perplexed but feeling full of both empathy and hatred, he just held her until at last, she was ready to go home. He never asked her about that guy again.Months passed. Piper and Sarah get their friend back. Jake and Conner became mainstays in the group along with Orlando Perez, Sarah’s boyfriend. After a few. Now I didn’t have to feel guilty about killing myself. The effect it would have on my family was one of the only things keeping me from ending it all. Now I could just let the cancer do it for me. In a way, it felt good to finally have an answer as to why I suffered from depression. I had been depressed for most of my eighteen years, even suicidal, completely in contrast to the comfortable middle-class life I lived in my hometown in Maine. I couldn’t even count the number of antidepressants, forced therapy lessons, and thoughts of longing to just die. There are people starving all over the world, people suffering. It’s a mystery to people like me why they just don’t kill themselves. It is the only question I will leave behind. How do they have lives that make my horrors look pathetic, but they have the will to live that I lack? That was always an issue nagging in the back of my mind: being depressed without having a reason. It was that mixture of guilt for knowing that I should.
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