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She was smiling broadly, a certain sense of satisfaction of a job well done showing in her eyes. “That is a lot of fluid you have down there,” she said gently patting my softening member. I was still too breathless to respond. Michelle fingered the wet patch and made little circles with her fingertips causing me to jump. She smiled warmly at my reaction to her contacting my over sensitive spots. With a look of self-satisfaction growing more broadly Michelle slowly raised her finger and licked it clean. “I guess you could call that payment in full for services rendered,” she said in an offhand way, taking a final drink of wine. I pushed my chair back and stood, making sure I pulled my T-shirt down to try to hide the large wet patch. She looked at my shorts and then up at me, her look questioning what I was doing. Quickly and maybe a little more forcefully than I had wanted, I knelt and moved into her, encircling her in my arms and kissing her fiercely on the mouth. She tried to break. It was June, nearing the end of my fifteenth year. It was the last day of school and soon my friends and I would be free to do as we pleased for three months. Most kids my age were relieved. However, for me, school was my one place that I could escape these demons inside me. It was the only steady thing in my life at that time and I was feeling… empty and alone. For no real apparent reason, I was feeling so far away from gone. I just wanted to be home. The next morning, I woke up grudgingly. Today was going to be particularly horrible, when in reality, it should be one of the best days of my teenage life. But my anxiety was at an all time high. I couldn’t believe I had another panic attack last night. That was the third one this week. But no matter was my anxiety level, I had become an expert of hiding what I was really feeling. That was the reason I began writing in the first place. I needed an out. However, these days, it just doesn’t seem to be enough. I shoved my nightmare to.
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