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I climbed into the shower and cleaned up. I calmed down after a long hot shower, but my emotions were still there.I looked out the window to see John sitting by the pool. After the emotional onslaught, I was getting excited again. I found the lingerie that I had bought for my husband's viewing pleasure, I put it on.Damn! I thought, you are hot. Something just didn't look right. I took the panties and bra off, that's better after all you are just a whore. I put my robe on and joined John by the pool.I walked over to the table and sat down, "Morning, sleepy head."John got up and poured me a coffee, from the carafe, "Don't you have help for that?" I gave them the day off." Oh, I see," John handed me my coffee, he sat back down to read the paper. When he finished the paper he looked up smiling."Whats the matter?" Nothing, why do you ask?" Your eyes are all red and puffy, have you been crying?" I started crying again"I am confused about all this John." About what?" Everything over the. I wasn’t any smarter, but it was like I was a walking advertisement for Adderall.I learned to pick up cues from my peers. I had no problems socializing, but there were times when I just didn’t get a joke or the underlying meaning of what someone said. If others laughed or seemed taken aback, I followed suit. It didn’t happen often, but it was enough to remind me that in some ways, I was different.In everything else, I was pretty average. By the time I was in my second year of college, I stood 5’10 and weighed 155. My brown hair and eyes weren’t remarkable, but they weren’t repulsive. I could easily get lost in a crowd, but babies didn’t start crying when they saw me. I didn’t question it when Lillian took an interest in me. She was beautiful, but I was a good guy, I treated her well and we got along.Why wouldn’t we start dating? Why wouldn’t we go steady? Why wouldn’t we get married after graduating?I had considered going for an MBA but decided on a MAcc. Numbers and details came.
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