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-Phyllis DillerWhat I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.-Phyllis DillerThe only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.-Phyllis DillerHis finest hour lasted a minute and a half.-Phyllis DillerOld age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.-Phyllis DillerMy photographs don't do me justice -they just look like me.-Phyllis DillerI admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.-Phyllis DillerTranquillizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children.-Phyllis DillerI asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'-Phyllis DillerThe reason the golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.-Phyllis DillerYou know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.-Phyllis DillerBest senior pick up line:A very elderly gentleman, walks into an upscale cocktail lounge.He was. ”Mark shook his head, “I’ve already suspended all of his access, since we rebuilt that software we had been using with our own version on Atlantean servers, Cricket is the only one with true root access! If, in two weeks, he wants to redeem himself, he is going to have to start at the bottom.”Cass and Beth were sitting there quietly, contemplating what just happened. Cass eventually said, “Thank You! He needed to be slapped with some reality and put in his place. I don’t think I could’ve done it!”Henry then said, “I’ve never had to deal with a situation like that either! Thank you!”Mark then said, “I DO still own this company, if anyone is having issues, please make sure I know about it!”Jacob then quietly asked, “Do we need to postpone our meeting?”Henry said, “No, of course not! Cass? Beth? Are you two OK? Do you need a few minutes before we start the meeting?”The girls indicated they were OK for the meeting, even though there were tears in Beth’s eyes as Mark and Annabelle gave.
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