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” Mom reminded me.“Why are all men such dicks?” I asked “Relationships are so hard. It’s like a full-time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks’ notice. There should be severance pay, and before they leave.”Mom took a sip before answering. “If you’re giving your all and it’s not enough, you’re probably giving it to the wrong person.”“Mom, what are you talking about?”“Kelly, think for a second. What do all these cheating men you date have in common?”“They are all cheating dicks!”Mom made a face. “And what else do they have in common?” I just looked at her before she continued. “Kelly, it is almost you are picking boys that are going to fail.”Rolling my eyes I said “If I try to fail and succeed, which have I done?”She took one of my hands. “Kelly, you are an adult mature women over 30 years old now. You have a good job and both brains and beauty. It may be time to stop playing with these man child bad boys still living. And as my sister had her weddingnight that evening, I slept with her bridal garter on that night. It wasas close as I had ever come.The next day we all returned to the hotel to see my sister and get heroff to the airport for her honeymoon. I could only imagine what kind ofnight she must have had. But at the same time, I kept hoping theopportunity I mentioned earlier would play itself out. My older sisterwas off on the way to the airport for her honeymoon and they asked me totake care of a few things for her while my parents took them to theairport to catch their flight. I was supposed to take all the weddinggifts and flowers back to her house which they would deal with upontheir return. As a good little brother, I did as was asked and put allher gifts and such in the car. She said to just leave them in the livingroom.Then finally my dream came true. The last things she gave me were twobags. The big garment bag was obvious. It was her wedding dress! It wasall wrapped up in the plastic.
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