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Instead of going back to sleep, I got out of bed. I started my morning run and exercise routine. Running 3 miles and increasing my calisthenics by twenty percent. I was finished by 6:40 am and returned to the hotel to shower and dress for the day.Then I sat on the floor of my suite and concentrated on trying to meditate. I had gotten into meditation the first time through around age 50 or so. I found that it helped me focus, and I could visualize my goals becoming a reality. It worked for me then, so I figured I might as well try it now.I had a lot to think about, and I needed to figure out a formal strategy. I began to slow my breathing and clear my mind of distractions. I sat there and began to look inward. How have I used this second chance? What, if anything, have I achieved? Is it what I want, or is it just what the Guardians have asked me to do? Where do I fit into this? Is there a way to make my wants and needs come in line with that? Should they?The questions kept coming. I. "I looked at him for a minute trying to figure out what he was talking about. "What, you mean Steven this morning?" He nodded and I sighed. "Look, the fags were havin' a spat, an' I don't know, Steven volunteered an' I just thought 'what the fu-uh, fudge'? That's it. I got off, that's all I was lookin' for." And the much discussed kiss?" Your attention please." The PA system flared to life. "Would McElroy, Alex please report to the Office. Would McElroy, Alex please report to the Office."I so fuckin' owe you one, God, I thought. I gestured vaguely in the direction of the speaker. "Sorry, dude." Fine." He sighed. "You still have to write the paper." He started the class before I was all the way out the door.I hurried to the office figuring that I was in it for the lunchroom fight. I wouldn't say Northumberland High had strict rules on fighting and stuff like that because I've gotten out of punishment way too often. But Giles could make this really fucked up for me. A suspension for me.
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