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Now, being an outsider does have a perk or three. One is you learn to watch behaviour objectively and see how contradictory humans are. Two is as an outsider you can move along the fringes of several different groups without loyalty issues or the politicking.It is bothersome though because it is lonely and you begin to feel as if you belong nowhere. That’s just bad for a human being. We are by nature a social creature. We will take up with the worst sort of crowd if we think they are the only ones who will takes us in. I know. I’ve sat at millionaires tables and I’ve sat on a ragged couch in a dank garage where a druggie lived and a lot of time druggies and other low lifes are more compassionate. They know what it’s like to get kicked in the face by life forty or fifty times. I honestly didn’t know if I had a place in the world until I was in my early 20’s.It was during my first vision quest. I was doing it in some swampy woods in the fall near a river. I was nude with just a. For that, I'll always be your friend and anything you need, I'll do my best to get it for you."That had to be the first time I ever saw Dar blush. He didn't say anything, but what I could see of his face with that beard in the way and his head down was all red.After that, I fell asleep again. I don't remember the next couple of days real well, but I was soon moved to a different hospital and Dar came to see me every day until they let me go home again.Sometimes Erica came with him too, but not often. She said that someone had to stay home and take care of the house and answer the phone and such. It seemed that a lot of people were calling and sending get well wishes. Erica said I'd be busy for a week just answering all the cards.Finally, the day arrived when I was allowed to go home. By that time, Dar was walking a little bit. When they brought in a wheelchair to take me down stairs, Dar stood up from his and said, "My turn."He grabbed the chair from the orderly and said, "You push.
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