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At this point I wondered if I should just not go..... but would I forever be asking myself “what if”. I said goodbye to my family and left to make the thirty-five-minute walk.Arriving at the train station prompted a renewed attack of nerves. Should I go? I sat waiting for the train to arrive - I was almost fifteen minutes early. The platform was quiet with only one other person waiting for the train. I passed some time rereading some of my messages from him where he described in detail what he would like to do when we had some time alone together. This left me with a sudden wetness below and the thought “I just have to meet him, I can do this.”The train arrived and I got on. I messaged him to say I was on the train, then tilted my head back slightly while I thought of the things we had discussed... my cheeks reddened as I blushed while thinking of pictures of his cock.Oops, hurry up we are at my stop. I rushed to grab my handbag and go. I had to head towards the exit and to where we. M. I felt drained, all of the emotional ups and downs having taken their toll. I decided to turn in and enjoy that rarity, an eight hour night. As I headed upstairs and started undressing, I looked at Sue’s side of the bed. The thought that it would remain empty tonight tugged at my heartstrings.But it wasn’t the thought it was empty and would remain empty wasn’t the emotional scalpel causing my heart to ache. It was more subtle than that. With my job, Sue and I had spent plenty of nights apart over the years. What was so painful was the thought that just a few miles away, over the rooftops there was another man who was experiencing the total opposite set of feelings. Where my bed was empty and my arm would remain unused, his bed contained the woman I loved. And his arm would be wrapped around her shoulder and it would be his chest which she snuggled up into as she drifted off to sleep.Even after my earlier call with Sue had been such a balm, this was a painful thought to endure. I.
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