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I ran all the way into my bedroom, and sobbed into a pillow.What had happened to me? What was wrong with me. To kiss him as a game,sure, but to like it? Was I gay?I finally did something I had never done before, I began to examine my ownmind, gently and carefully poking around the edges.Who was I?Was I gay? I wasnt sure, but somehow, that didnt seem to fit.I started looking back at my life up until that point, and realized thatJohn was pretty much the only guy I spent any time with at all, andwhenever I could I preferred the company of girls, especially Anne andJill. When it was just the three of us, I felt ... relaxed. I had toldJohn I wanted to snuggle with Jill, but now looking at that feeling, Irealized I hadnt been totally honest.That what I had felt for Jill wasnt desire, but envy.I wanted to be like her. Like my sister Anne.No. That wasn't quite right either.I didnt want to be like them. I wanted to be seen as like them.Because I already was like them, on the inside.I .... I. Sunday arrived and I was both very excited and incredibly nervous, I bathed, made sure I was again 100% hairless and thought what should I wear. Simple decision, a black jelly push up bra which gives me a great clevage, a black waist clincher, black thongs, black sheer hold ups and black 4" court shoes. A black elasticated mini skirt and a transparent white blouse. I chose a dark blonde page boy wig and a mid thigh rain coat to finish my ensemble. I finished my make up with shaky hands, lubed up and decided that I needed a stiff G&T before I left.I had already decided that around 9pm was the most optimum time, so I drove having put on a pair of flat shoes for the 10 minute drive. The place I was going was a nature reserve, known as a dogging spot with 2 car parks. I chose the one that was a few hundred yards past the first one and drove in and parked. I decided to have a cigarette and compose myself and then looked around. There were 3 cars already there but I couldn't see anyone or.
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