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I suffered through many years, and I believe I’ve paid for my sins against you. Still, there you are, dominating my thoughts. Today, when my life has settled, when my nest is complete, and I have time to think, I spend most of my extra time thinking about you. There is a part of me that longs to break my promises in this life I have chosen. There are several parts of me that want to run away, to you. And yet, another part of me wonders if I am the biggest fool on earth for even thinking you care about me after all these years. I will never know if you only wish to watch me suffer like this, or if you also feel the burning desire to be together, again. It would serve me right if it is merely amusement for you. I loved you with every ounce of my being, from the very moment we became girlfriend and boyfriend as kids. Perhaps it’s biological. Perhaps women can never really shut off that part of us that longs for our first true loves. I’ve had two or three loves since then, but they were. Right now I didn't want any woman, especially another Keri.Well that wasn't entirely true. And that was my dilemma. Teresa Flaherty bothered me – in a good way. I was actually looking forward to getting to know her and her daughter over the coming months. Did I want to spend the rest of my life with her? Of course not! Well maybe. My emotional state was so out of whack that I hardly knew who I was much less trying to fathom the inner workings of a beautiful young woman, several years my junior who just happened to be my landlord.So to the minus side of the equation – I had seen the expression on Teresa's face when she walked in on me kissing Moira. Well actually Moira initiated the kiss and I admit I was enjoying the heck out of it. Moira said she wanted to give me a thank you kiss for making her Christmas by allowing her pretty much free rein to transform the cottage. Of course I also knew that the hefty pile of Euros I left at her office helped "make her Christmas". I did not get a.
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