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Another change was that I was surer of what I wanted but what I found interesting was that what I wanted had changed, too. I made better decisions, faster and communicated them in an authoritative manner that left little to no doubt. Not just in business but sexually, too. I was more commanding and demanding in the bedroom, leaving the women wide-eyed and breathless at times. I know that sounds like a cliché but it's true. They had always encouraged me to be more assertive and somewhat rougher with them and they got their wishes fulfilled many times over. I wasn't brutal nor was it rape. Our sexual foreplay was lasting longer and longer and leaving more and more marks on them that would take days to disappear. Even with that, they seemed eager to please, eager for more but mainly, just eager.That did present, however, one of the changes in myself that I was still coming to grips with. I had trouble accepting a self-image of being that aggressive or that macho. I wanted to be and I had. ??? ? "Look at the fucking faggot shiver! Do you suppose he is cold, or are his faggot nerves all jangled from being near real men?" ?One guy Mr. Rawlinson growled and scratched his hairy beer belly. They men were all dressed in dirty jeans and wife beaters. It was almost like a uniform or something.??? ? ?The boy's father roared with laughter, even though the remark was not very funny."Oh, he's a bit cold. I make him sleep on the cement basement floor with only one thin blanket. Of course he sleeps bare assed. Faggot boys are not allowed clothing in my house."?? ? "Why the fuck do you give him a blanket? Do you want to spoil the fucking cunt? Next thing he'll want to use the toilet!" ??? ? "Oh no, not as long as he lives in my house. He shits and pisses in a litter box, like the piece of shit queer cocksucking faggot his mother turned him into."??? ? ?It was true. The boy had to squat like and animal and shit and piss in a litter box. Then he had to scoop out the shit with his bare.
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