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She at times would sternly ask me to speed up. I was not used to taking orders, I assumed lead roles more often but for some reason, I dint object to her orders, I was probably mesmerized by her beauty.We started arranging all her stuff and all the while I kept glancing at her awesome legs. In about three hours, we finished the job and Jess just sat down on a chair. It was like a recliner so she just laid her head back and relaxed as if I weren’t there. Looking at the ceiling, she asked ?You like my legs, don’t you?? I just couldn’t answer because I knew deep inside that what she said was true. She made life easy by answering her own question. ?I believe you do, by the way you were staring at it?. I felt really embarrassed. ?Give me a foot massage?, she said, suddenly changing her friendly demeanor to an authoritative one. Again, I felt this urge to obey and in a zombie like state, I moved and sat down at her foot on the floor. She placed both her feet on my lap, closed her eyes and. I opened the door and headed straight towards my car.Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside all clapping!With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family!"So the moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car.Tarzan & Jane are swinging through the trees one day, with Tarzan repeatedly making his jungle call.Suddenly he lets out an almighty ear-splitting shriek.He turns to Jane and says "Jane, if I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times ... GRAB! THE! VINE!!!"-- and two that go togetherQ: Why do elephants paint their balls red?A: So they can hide in apple trees.Q: How did Tarzan die?A: Picking apples.Building PermitSome have asked what I've been doing in retirement. Well, I applied for a building permit for a new house.It was going to be 100 ft. tall and 400 ft. wide, with 12 gun turrets at various.
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