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" Hold on ... it gets worse... "I lost my virginity when I was twenty-three to a bastard who'd tricked me into thinking I was in love with him. He acted like John Wayne around me. I told him that I'd always fantasized about the big man, and that he reminded me of him. But his motive all along had been just to take my virginity. That was his thing ... being the first man to take a virgin. He dumped me as soon as it was over. I was so upset with myself for being so stupid and blind that I gave up looking for love." But I couldn't give up sex... "I'd developed this potent sexuality during my late teens because of my love and lust for the big man and my fascination with the sensuousness of sex. In my mid to late twenties, it drove me to need to feel a man inside me every so often. So, I went out and found the least physically unthreatening men I could who still attracted me. I made them understand and agree that a quick fuck was all I wanted from them. And once it was over, I never saw. He heard, but could not see, the students moving close to him in an almost parody of stealth. Stumbles, urgently whispered reproaches, the odd giggle and even an outright laugh could be heard as the teens cheerfully made their way to the exit.Harry and his friends, Snape knew, were heading to an encounter with Voldemort and his gang. It was perfectly obvious that some might die, and perhaps all of them. Yet the students came, cheerfully and even mirthfully. Was this the Gryffindor spirit, Snape wondered, or was it simply youth? They were, after all, teenagers, and therefore immortal; serious injury, illness and even death were all things that happened to old people, not to them. Or if such a fate befell a teen, it was always of course someone else, never them. Death was acknowledged merely as a theoretical possibility, a thing that must exist, yet for them, it was an event beyond the horizon, a horizon had never advanced or retreated but remained the same distance from them as they.
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