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There were shoes piled up on the floor. Half of them looked old andscuffed. There didn't seem to be any sensible shoes at all. I pickedout a pair of black stilettos. They were the least scuffed and I wantedto show off my legs as much as I could.I took out a black leather mini-skirt and a strappy top and put themon. The heels fit like a dream. They raised me right up and I had notrouble walking in them. Why would I? I was used to this. I went outalmost every night walking the streets in them.I strutted up the room and back again. Then I touched up my make-up inthe toilet mirror.I looked like a real tart. I was irresistible. It was a shame I wasstarting to sag a bit. I remembered the old days when I first startedturning tricks. I had the looks then. Oh yes. There wasn't any man thatcould resist me.No. Wait. Was that right?No it wasn't. It wasn't right. I hadn't always been like this. I was arespectable middle class person. I wasn't a mangy slag - not normally.This was just temporary.I. The cycle was renewed, everything was changed, and I saw my best friend become my husband's wife.Poor Victoria. She never understood or even probably knew the pain she caused me, because she didn't remember. It meant so much to me during that last cycle when she insisted Patrick comfort me in the way I was dying to have him. It was so selfless of her, especially since she didn't realize the significance. But things were suddenly unbearably hard for me. It was one thing, not having Patrick but realizing, truly believing that it was coming one day. It was another to live that dream, then have it jerked out from under you. Was that it? Was fifteen years all Eric had foretold? If the cycles were successful and we went back to the original life, I would not be married to Patrick; Elizabeth would be. I was devastated. I had lost everything. It helped a little to know it was to save everyone's life, but it was still hard, to see someone deliriously happy with the one you loved. I couldn't.
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