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We barely made eye contact. It was probably stupid of me to drive in that mood but I did anyway. I felt the flutter in my chest, the one I’d noticed over the past six months or so, but I ignored it.I have enough control that I didn’t snap at Doug or any of the office staff, and by noon I acknowledged to myself what I’d already known--I needed to apologize to Sarah for my language even if she’d been in the wrong. It wasn’t the first time for us, and after each fight I swore to myself I wouldn’t lose my temper when we had the next one. So far I’ve had only middling success. Still, driving home I rehearsed my proposed apology.If past experience repeated itself I’d apologize for my behavior while outlining why I was angry. I’d separate the issue from my reaction. Almost always Sarah would acknowledge she’d misinterpreted what I’d said and she would apologize for that. A hug and a kiss would seal our reconciliation.Not this time. Not with what I saw.This wasn’t the first time I’d seen. I was supposed to go with her, but I had to stay and work. So, naturally I did not even bother going to my mom’s place, I went and stayed with Julia, after work. She was an early riser and always made me breakfast, I started helping out around the house, cleaning, doing chores, grocery shopping. Did a lot of maintenance around the house and Julia was thrilled to “Have a man around the house”. It was so nice, not having the anxiety of my mom’s wrath lingering over me for staying with Julia, I really liked staying with her. I came home on a Friday once and Julia had just arrived from work recently as well. She was working in an accounting firm at the time and made a good living, without having to work long hours. She asked if I wanted to go out for a drink downtown. My brother was at a sleepover with Julia’s best friend and her kids. Naturally, I agreed. I went to take a shower, put on my nicest shirt and sprayed a bunch of cologne on me that Julia had gotten me a while back. I.
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