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The Sunday before we met, newspaper headlines announced that Rick Schwagger was to receive a knighthood. He was the sole rock star to be honoured among a motley group of celebrities, including a stand-up comic, an ex-pole-vaulter, a horse breeder and a pastry chef. None of the others were to receive anything as elevated as a knighthood. On Monday evening The Handyman collected me and took me to The Rocking Boulders' villa. 'We should find Quick at home again. Best not to say anything about the palace or his gong, ' he said.'Why not?''The newspapers have been making a lot of it, especially since no hint of it leaked out earlier, but they've not sniffed out any scandal so far. I've heard a story that's going round about what really happened. If I tell you, don't drop me in the shit by repeating it to anyone, especially not Quick, will you?''No, of course not.''This is supposed to have come from an equerry, via a stable boy at the palace. Word is Quick got off with a lady-in-waiting at a. Great, now I’m alone in her fucking basement. She knows about me and basements!She came back down with a brown paper lunch bag. “Breathe into this, you’re hyperventilating.”She held it to my face as we sat on her bed and that didn’t help at all. There was far less oxygen in that little fucking bag than in the room. What was she thinking?“Mandy! You need to calm--”“Don’t tell me to calm down!” I screamed at her in a shrill voice. Then I unloaded on her, my voice rising to an almost unnatural pitch as my anxiety took complete control over me. ”How can I calm down when my world is crashing? I don’t think I like boys! Don’t you get it? I’ll never get married, or have kids, Greg is going to tell everyone at school and they will laugh at me and think I’m stupid or frigid and maybe I am a lesbian and my mom is going to kill me and never talk to me and that wouldn't be so bad but she will judge me like she does everything--”“Mandy! Stop!”“I can’t stop it’s like a freight train in my head and.
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