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I just finished cleaning."2. My mother taught me RELIGION."You better pray that will come out of the carpet."3. My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL."If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"4. My father taught me LOGIC."Because I said so, that's why."5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC."If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT."Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."7. My father taught me IRONY."Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS."Shut your mouth and eat your supper."9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM."Just you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"10. My mother taught me about STAMINA."You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."11. My mother taught me about WEATHER."This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."12. My mother taught. I said that I would love it and he said to come with him and we went to a large room which was some kind of small auditorium and on the small stage was what looked like a house painters 'A' frame trestle, the type where they have two and put a plank between them to get to the higher part of a wall.Anyway this piece of kit looked more up market than that and had cushioning, stirrups and wrist restraints. The deal was that you spread your legs and bend over the trestle then your ankles and wrists were restrained. I did all this and it was a tad uncomfortable at first then I was lubed up.After a few seconds there was a trickle of folks and then a rush and of course I realised that I would be performing before an audience, or at least getting shagged before one. This did not particularly worry me and I just hoped I would not let the side down so to speak, but there was a level of trepidation I guess.The first guy came up and to be honest with you I could see very little, but feel a.
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