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Snakes also known as Garter Snakes (Thamnophissirtalis) can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. Here’s why.A couple in Sweetwater, Texas, had a lot of potted plants. During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze.It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants. When it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa.She let out a very loud scream.The husband (who was taking a shower) ran out into the living room naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa.He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the behind. He thought the snake had bitten him, so he screamed and fell over on the floor.His wife thought he had had a heart attack, so she covered him up, told him to lie still and called an ambulance.The attendants rushed in, would not. I think they want to meet you now and get it over with.’ He walked into the next room and came out a minute later. He shook his head sadly and pointed to the open door. I marched in and saw a captain and a first sergeant sitting at a conference table on either side of a lieutenant colonel. I took a position of attention, saluted since I was reporting for my new duty, even though we were indoors, and did the military thing, ‘Lieutenant Wheeler, reporting for duty, Sir.’ My new boss was the Battalion Commander named Weldon. I remained at attention as he read my file. As he read, his face turned redder and redder. Finally, he looked up at me and asked, ‘How much Russian do you speak?’ ‘None, Sir.’ ‘Then what the fuck are you doing here?’ ‘Following orders, Sir?’ I suggested. Barely keeping his temper in check he said, ‘We are a Russian intelligence battalion stationed in Germany. You have high school German that you haven’t used in years and speak no Russian. The French hate us, but.
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