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I could have told her I loved her then and there but something within me held that back.This was the first time I had done anything with her, she was my personal assistant and at least ten years younger than I was. I had known her less than two months and we had made love as only women can… once.After I had recovered, and all my senses were back almost to normal other than I could still feel that tingle of the sensation in one's vagina when you have had an orgasm such as I had just enjoyed. I have been with other women, none as young as Dianne and never reached the height of sexual arousal as I had just endured. How could I repay her? She had just seduced her boss in a way that nobody could possibly imagine, least of all, me.She sat there looking down at me, waiting for me to say something.“You and I are going to have to have a serious discussion, young lady. I don’t know how we are going to work together if you keep doing things like that to me,” I said.“I hope that that doesn’t. Not that it mattered to me anyway. My body was going on automatic pilot as it was. It ate whether or not I wanted to. One day, Stephanie was a little bit careless and did not watch me closely when it came time to give me the prescribed medication. I carefully hid the pills in my mouth and spit them out when she turned her back. I quickly disposed of them when I had the chance. I kept the stupefied act up so that they would not catch on until too late. Once my thoughts were clear, I started making up my plans for getting out of this situation. I caught my journal up to date which brings me to this point. I have used this message as a way to clear my mind and make it up as to what I am going to do with my life. It has set me straight on what I need to do and I have set my mind to it. I have tried so hard to live as a man and I have found it impossible. I was not born to be a man and I am going to make sure that the future does not hold that prospect for me. I had.
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