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All this computing stock, none of it is real.”“You don’t know how true that is,” I said as I finished writing my instructions. “Everything will change in the new millennium.”“You are twenty-two years old,” he said. “I’ve never heard anyone your age talk about a future so far ahead.”“The future is as real to me as yesterday,” I sighed. “I think about it all the time.”I was thinking about the future a lot lately. I’d been back in time for four years. I’d long since given up hoping I’d wake up back in my own body in a hotel room in California. Nor would I want to go back. I had love, home, and a purpose in this life. And I was going to make damned sure my family was taken care of.Emily was almost four years old. And she had no friends.That wasn’t completely accurate. I’d joined a new place called Gymboree and we went there for playdates twice a week. We’d met a few other young mothers and arranged to get our kids together to play as well.But when I was growing up, all I had to do was. My mother was a creature of habit too. She did things exactly the same way from time immemorial. If I saw mom doing the laundry, I didn’t need to look at my watch. I KNEW it was nine o’clock on a Monday.I was different. I might have enjoyed the boring regularity as a child. But as I grew older, I began to sense the inherent futility of small-town life and the thought of drifting into meaninglessness horrified me.If you want to see what I’m talking about, walk through your town cemetery. Do you know any of those people? Probably not - still, they were once living, breathing human beings who thought they mattered. Newsflash - very few people really matter. Especially in a small town.Maybe I read too much. Maybe I was smarter than some. Maybe it’s because I never really felt like I fit in. But I had a world view that involved more than just getting married, raising kids, and being buried with a bunch of nonentities. I wanted a meaningful life.I actually envied the guys who only wanted.
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