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I turned myself into a slut for a guy and he shared me with anyone he wanted to and I let him. He sent me to the man who raped me and maybe even got his friends to hurt my best friend to stop her from telling the police about my rape.”I was shaking now struggling not to sob but continued, “But I know I have to move on, to change. I have to forgive myself for what I’ve done. I have to hope my friend forgives me for what all has happened. The worst part is that I’m pregnant and because of the guys my boyfriend had me be with I don’t even know who the father of my baby is. How do I admit to my family I have no idea who the father is? I can’t picture myself ever telling them about everything I’ve done, or even part of what I’ve done. I’m ashamed enough I’m not sure I could handle them knowing what a slut I have become. So yes, I was raped, but I have to live with the guilt I will always feel about it.”With that I looked down and stopped talking. The leader of the group paused. Money was tight, what with the mortgage, leasing two cars, and the extra expenses of setting up our home the way we liked it, so the little impulsive treats like going out for a drink and a meal had hit the back burner. Heck, the monthly payments for the new couch were more than the cost of one evening’s drinks, dancing and a meal, and we’d be paying that off for another year yet. At least we now owned the bed, and the TV would be ours in a couple of months, so we’d be able to argue over who kept it, rather than just having it repossessed.Jeez. I’d genuinely thought that we were on the way up. Now I’d have to start all over again.It was a good half hour or more before Betty came out to fetch me. She looked thoroughly miserable, just as bad as I felt; we hugged each other in sympathy.We sat on their swing seat and talked for a few minutes; she said that she needed to tell me a few things about Stacey, and about how Grover had wheedled his way into her panties. It made for sad.
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